Saturday, August 27, 2011

Come a long ways!

Today was a day of closure for myself.  I know it might sound funny but today I was truly able to put behind me the past.  What brought that on… well today was the NICU reunion.  I didn’t realize how much I was still carrying that season in our life.  I thought that once we came home I was done and over it.  I think today really brought some closure.  Today was the first time I had been back to the hospital since February 19th when Riah came home.  Today as I drove to the hospital I kept looking in the back seat to see Riah sitting back there grinning at his brothers.  I had some praise music in the background and everything was “righted” for me.  As we pulled up to the hospital and I pulled into the parking structure there was a sense of sickness that came over me.  The last times that I remember parking in that structure was when I was running into the hospital to see my baby.  We got to the hospital at ten, which brought about the memory of his touch times… seven, ten, one and four.  As I got my three boys out of the car there was a sense of peace that came over, I was not there to rush upstairs to put my hands on my baby and feed him and then be requested to put him back in the bassinet and be left to just look at him.  We were a little early so the boys and I played in the grass area out front of the hospital.  Zeke informed me that he had to go potty so that meant we were going to have to go into the hospital.  The smell of the hospital hit me as we walked through the doors.  It was not a welcome smell to say the least.  That little feeling of sickness crept back in and I could not wait to get back outside.  Once we were back outside we were greeted by some of the nursing staff.  My hope in coming to this NICU reunion was to see the three nurses that took care of Riah and just thank them for everything that they did.  I am pleased to say I got to do just that.  Mandi was one of the nurses that left such a huge impact on me.  She was actually the nurse that gave me the NICU tour when I was first admitted into the hospital.  She was such a soft spirit that knew just how to speak to me and help me through that season.  The other nurse that I really wanted to see was our day nurse Sarah, she was a fun spirit that always made me feel comfortable and to me felt like a huge cheerleader.  The other nurse that impacted me was Laurie, she was the mothering type of person for me.  I could cry with her and she would just hold me.  These three ladies had such a profound impact on me and it was nice to see them out of their scrubs, outside of Riah’s NICU room and be able to thank them.  So today I was finally able to put forty three days of my life and thirty days of Riah’s life behind us and see just how far he has come and rest knowing that God has all our days numbered and He is the author of everything!