Here I am again - feeling like I am at a loss. I know that the Lord gave me Zeke because he knew that I would be the best mommy for him but I just don't know what to do. Michael and I chose to take Zeke out of Foothills Christian Preschool and have him enroll in a public school so that he could receive speech therapy through the school district. When we made this decision we were informed that the only spot that was open was an afternoon preschool spot at a local preschool. I was trying to be optimistic about it while Michael threw the idea out immediately. I told Michael that we would try it and see if it could work for us. Michael reluctantly agreed. Last Tuesday was his first day - I dropped him off at 12:45 and picked him up at 3:15pm. On our five minute drive home he fell fast asleep and then woke up fussy telling me that he doesn't like his new school and he wants to go back to the other one. Unfortunately that night Zeke and I got the flu something fierce so Wednesday and Thursday were spent recovering. Friday we tried school again - the whole five minutes to school Zeke told me that he doesn't really like the new school and doesn't like the teachers. When I pushed and asked why he just told me he likes the other school. I pick him up from school and he was a one hundred percent grouch and after twenty minutes of crying for only the Lord knows why he fell asleep for an hour. Yesterday was his next day of school - so granted it was only day three! I am taking him to school and trying to build up school time. I drop him off and he seems to be okay. I pick him up after school and we get in the car and he is whinny, crying and fussy. I ask what is wrong and he simply says that he "kind of no like my new school".
I sat down for a little while yesterday and prayed - I tried to remove my emotions and really ask for direction. After some time I decided that I would call the ChildFind office at 4:40pm (after they close) and leave a message and pray that between then and when they returned my call that I would have more confirmation as to what I am supposed to do as Zeke's number one advocate. Much to my surprise the phone was picked up on the third ring. I shared my concerns about Zeke's not liking the school or the teachers. I shared that without the afternoon naps he is having more meltdowns which only exasperates the speech troubles that sent us to ChildFind in the first place. I shared that if it is a matter of dropping the OT that he receives through ChildFind and focusing solely on the speech to get him a morning spot at a speech only IEP school than I would sign whatever paperwork I needed. The lady seemed to be receptive to what I was saying and said that she would compose an email to the necessary individuals to see if there might be some wiggle room.
After my phone call I felt better about it but there is still a part of me that worries that maybe there is not that perfect match of preschool for Zeke and I don't want to keep bouncing him around from place to place - I think that would be more detrimental. I know that it will work out how it is supposed to and that everything is already taken care of in God's hands - I just need to be reminded of that on a daily basis as I desire to do the absolute best for my baby.