I am not sure if discombobulated is a word or not but that is how I have been feeling lately. I think between the hormones and the early day darkness I have not been quite the same. Last week was the roughest, I felt like everything was out of whack and I could just not get myself normal. One thing that stuck with me from last week was something that a lady said at Bible study... live a life with zero expectations so that you don't spend your time being constantly disappointed. Being the person that I am that really rocked my world.
So Friday I thought I would give it a try. Friday was mine and Michael's anniversary and I had earlier in the week asked Michael if we could make plans to go out and spend some time together without the boys and he simply said no. I was super bummed about it and spend most of the week feeling bad for myself. With the comment that was made on Thursday at Bible study I tried to put on my big girl panties and get over it. Friday the boys and I spent the day as usual. When the boys napped that day I chose not to nap and take a shower and try and make the best of my time by myself. Once the boys woke up from their naps we had to leave so that I could make a chiropractic appointment. I got myself snapped, crackled and popped and then headed home to make dinner for the family on what I had hoped would be a special night out just me and my husband of four years. Upon my arrival home I see that Michael was home already and as I walk in the door I see Michael standing in the kitchen dressed nicely (differing from his usual night time attire of jammies) making dinner. He looks at me and tells me to go upstairs and get ready because the baby sitter would be there in a few minutes. As it turned out Michael had gotten a sitter for the boys and planned on taking me out to dinner. We had a very nice night, just the two of us at dinner (although the whole Friday night dinner thing was so foreign to us that we drove around for a while trying to find a place with a wait shorter than an hour).
Zero expectations I guess is something that maybe I should live by a little more often! My Saturday was spent with Ki in the emergency room. Sunday was spent recovering from Saturday. Monday was spent trying to clean up from the weekend. Finally Tuesday was one of those days where life seemed to have righted itself. The boys and I headed to a local park and we played for a few hours. We fed ducks, rode bikes, played on the playground and just had a great day. At one point as I sat on the grass watching Zeke and Ki play on the playground I was blessed to have the movements of number three to feel. This is a huge thing, because here I am 25 weeks along and have barely felt the movements of this little guy. So to sit at the park and watch Zeke and Ki and feel number three moving inside me made me feel like one of the most blessed ever.
So here I am nearing the end of another week and although I am still a little more weepy than I would like to admit I know that things are working out well and that life is not spinning out of control. So here is to another week down and another week on the horizon!