Thursday, January 26, 2012

Slightly Inappropriate

Okay I realize that this post may be slightly inappropriate but welcome to my reality.  I am a mom... no duh huh?  Being a mom means that I am a girl.  Yeah, I know another duh!?!?  I am a mom of three boys - welcome to penisville.  Being a girl means that I have never had a penis, never had to maintain such a piece of equipment.  Since becoming a mom of three boys means that I have had to figure things out.  I grew up in a house of girls, I was the oldest of three daughters - I guess I now have a glimpse of what my dad experienced.  Dad was thrust into the world of periodsville and he survived and conquered that world one Costco box of tampons at a time. 
My oldest son has become rather aware of his penis and has been informing me of some of the details.  Today for example I was informed that the reason girls can not jump as high as boys is because we don't have a penis.  And to think all this time I was thinking it was due to the color of my skin not what is or is not in my pants.  Apparently a penis is a "go button" and without a girl just can't jump as high as a boy.
Another piece of information is that such equipment needs air... have you ever seen "How I Met Your Mother"?  The character Barney Stinson has coined the term "The Naked Man", welcome to my house - the naked boys.  My education from a four year old has informed me that certain parts need air.  Naked naptimes, naked mornings, naked time before showers, naked time after showers... naked boys! 
Lately my precious little four year old and I have been working on writing our letters.  Two days ago I get a holler from the bathroom, "Mom come here!"  I come running not sure as to why I am being summoned to the bathroom.  I open the door to find my little man standing over the toilet peeing and informs me to watch him pee.  "Mom, look I drew the letter 'W'."  Really?  I know you moms of girls can not understand this... this is a skill that boys only have, the same idea would leave a puddle and not a distinct letter. 
Trust me when I say, I love and treasure my baby boys - this is a strange and untraveled world to me and I know that I can survive and conquer it just as my dad did in a foreign world to him.