Home

Before we left for San Diego for Amie's wedding, Michael and I found a house that we really liked.  We had called our Realtors and told them that when we got back from San Diego that we would like to go and look at the house.  So two Sundays ago we went and looked at the house.  Everything was perfect... it was a three bedroom house, main floor master, main floor laundry, two bedrooms upstairs for the boys and the basement was finished with what they were calling two extra bedrooms and a bathroom but was really more one room (office) and a play area.  The home was smaller then our current one but it was so nice.  No major work was needed, the walls were even painted reasonably. 
Michael and I spoke with our Realtors and they explained that there are quiet a first time homer buyer packages that we needed to look into.  That evening Michael and I sat down and looked over our finances and calculated the home price through a mortgage calculator and realized that we could handle the monthly payments as they were only one hundred dollars more then we are paying for rent (we calculated mortgage insurance, home owners insurance, taxes, hoa, and the mortgage).  We really felt confident that it was just a matter of getting the pre-qual letter. 
So the very next day I went to our bank and got in contact with a lender.  After playing phone tag I was able to meet with the lender in person on Wednesday.  After an hour of looking at everything she said that we were not qualified.  I was crushed.  Because of the way in which Michael is paid... his hours and then "cafeteria money" taxes show the hours and not the "cafeteria money", so even though we make "X" it shows we make "Y".  I was crushed - I felt like my dream of owning a home for my boys to grow up in was shattered in that one meeting. I spent a day of mourning my "loss", then had to come to grips with, "When it is the Lord's will nothing will stand in the way."
I guess in my head I thought that if only we could have a home that we owned then we could do what we wanted, have pets, paint the walls, grow the garden that I want... all of the things that are not really possible in a rental.  After my day of mourning I had to come to grips with the fact that we are blessed to live in the house that we are in.  We have a nice place, in a great neighborhood, and my boys are happy here.  All the other things are the "American" dream but maybe not in the near future for my family.  All in perfect timing... even if it is not my timing!