There are days that I just want to spit on June Cleaver. This morning in my frustration of not measuring up to the ideals that were set forth in the all time known show Leave is to Beaver, I Googled June Cleaver.
This is what I found: June Evelyn Bronson Cleaver is a fictional character in the American television sitcom Leave It to Beaver. June and her husband, Ward, are often invoked as the archetypal suburban parents of the 1950s. The couple are the parents of two sons... (from Wikipedia).
Then after reading that definition I wasn't sure what archetypal meant (I had my suspicions but I thought a definition might help make my point...). So here is the definition for Archetypal is an original model of a person, ideal example, or a prototype upon which others are copied, patterned, or emulated; a symbol universally recognized by all. In psychology, an archetype is a model of a person, personality, or behavior. (Also from Wikipedia)
All I have to say is gosh, stinking darn June Cleaver.
So now that all brings me back to "HOW?" How is a mom of two boys supposed to have her house decorated to the nines, cleaned from top to bottom (windows inside and out, chandelier cob web free, fridge cleaned inside, out and under), her boys well behaved, clean and fed, and to top it all off have a warm dinner on the table the for when her hard working husband gets home... oh yeah and to make sure that the boys are quiet from the point dad walks in the door until they go to bed at night? Oh, yeah I forgot to mention also volunteer for many organizations and be involved in social events, as well as look wonderful herself?
Now do you question why I want to spit on June Cleaver? She made it all look so easy, she was always poised and in control, with pearls around her neck and a warm meal to make all the worries of the day disappear.
Fast forward sixty years to my house... yeah, need I say more!
I wake up at five in the morning with Ki, who I swear is allergic to sleep. I get him dressed for the day. Zeke wakes up at seven, get him pottied and dressed. I make all the beds before we head down stairs. Do I bother to get myself dressed... usually no! I am doing a mad dash to get my boys fed so that the screaming on my part or my boys does not have to begin. I get them fed and clean up from breakfast. Then we usually go down in the basement where I have them play by themselves and I play referee as well as try to get the day before's laundry washed and folded. If I am lucky during that time I am able to check my email and try and catch up on Mothers & More paperwork that has been piling up (like this morning, I really should be writing the Mothers & More newsletter, however my heart is too heavy with this). Around ten I bring the boys back upstairs, get Zeke a snack and try to get Ki to lay down for his morning nap. If I am fortunate enough to get Ki to nap I will take those forty minutes to get the floors swept, a bathroom cleaned, the cat box cleaned, some dusting, or maybe even grab some breakfast for myself. During this nap time for Ki I try to get Zeke to do something... play with the homemade play dough we made, do noodle necklaces (the noodles we dyed for extra fun) or read some of the library books that we just got from the library (as we are at the library two times a week getting fun and new books to read). When Ki wakes up the boys and I usually play for a little while whether we sing songs or have a dance party in the living room. Then there comes lunch time around noon thirty. I make lunches for the boys and try to hit just about every food group, knowing that these boys are growing and need nutritious foods to grow big and strong. After lunch I clean up. While I am cleaning up from lunch I try to get the boys to play by themselves in the living room. Around two I take both of the boys upstairs to Zeke's room for nap time. I read four or five library books to the boys. Ki usually falls asleep and I often will catch a ten or fifteen minute cat nap while I wait for Zeke to fall into snooze land. I then get up and get everything prepared for dinner - whatever it is that I have decided to make, trying to be conscience of having a meat, a starch, and veggies. During dinner preparations I usually make myself a sandwich and eat it as I buzz around the kitchen. The boys wake up from their naps after about an hour and then the evening proceedings begin. At four I begin dinner to make sure that my boys have dinner around five (sometimes later...). Michael usually gets home between five and six. Dinner is either hot on the table for him once he gets done with his shower after his arrival home or in the oven staying warm. Around six thirty-ish, I take the boys upstairs for the daily baths. Both the boys are bathed and jammied by seven. By this time I am so stinking dead tired that I throw myself on my chair in the living room and wish that the night could end right then and there. But no! Ki needs his night time bottle and then to bed with him. Zeke gets sent to bed around eight thirty. In this time I have managed to get my jammies on and wash my face and brush my teeth, for the second time in the day... I think! Then feeling horrible about not spending time with my husband I sit down on the couch with him while he watches something and rub his feet or his legs, knowing that he has worked very hard all day long, allowing me the privilege to stay home with our boys. Does the night end there... oh no, 'cause remember I said that Ki is allergic to sleep. The crying begins around midnight and then continues every hour, almost on the minute from midnight until five fifteen the next morning.
Now, honestly tell me, when is a women supposed to clean her house? When is she supposed to take a shower? When is she supposed to get phone calls done? How is she to be involved in anything outside of the house? My biggest question now is, how is she to go to the bathroom without an interruption... seriously if it is not one of the boys it is the cat, because she can't close the door entirely, because she has to leave it open to see and know what her boys are doing!
How? How? How? How?
As you can tell I am just about at my wits end! I know that it is a privilege to stay home with my boys, but it is just about wearing me down to the nubs! Last night after I got my boys to bed I did two loads of laundry (washed, folded and put away), cleaned up Michael's office from the files that he asked me to go through and purge, I cleaned under Michael's sink because something sticky had spilled and gotten all over the cupboard and bottles so I cleaned the cupboard and all the bottles, I de-cob webbed the kitchen chandelier and then made it to bed a quarter to midnight. Only to be woken by Ki at one and then to be up with him from then until three thirty... to start the day all over again! Ahhhhhhh
I know this is a season, I know that things will change... some to get easier, some more difficult, but in the meantime - Lord help me!