I guess one of the benefits of being on bed rest is that my blog posts will be more often... You may not all see that as a good thing. This girl can write. I never really thought of myself as a social person, that is until this past week. Being cut off from facebook and blogger was feeling like a life sentence. After a most generous gift from my husband of an iPad I am now reconnected with the world and feel somewhat liberated from the four walls of my new home for the coming twenty five days. Yep, desperation hit last night for us and we got out the calendar and started counting days.
Twenty five days... Let me just say that number is a scary one for our family. In the mere five days that I have been here I have faced one very dark day but also in that same day the blessings of my family overflowed. I am aware that there are going to be rough days, there are going to be days that I won't want to even open my eyes as it would be a reminder that I am here and not at home. There will be days that are good... Where things are going fine and I get to see more than these four walls. The next twenty five days are not a life sentence but a season. Maybe a season that our family of four grows and becomes closer to each other and to our Lord-I don't know if it could be anything less!
I have had many people encourage me to look at not the mass amount of days in a whole but as one day at a time. I understand the concept but when each day my three boys come and visit and I see the change that has taken place in them it is hard. The longest I have evert been away from my babies was two days and that was in August. Each day I see them they look more and more grown up. Zeke's language development is taking leaps and bounds with Michael's help. Even little Ki has started saying words. On Thursday, my dark day this week, the boys surprised me with a visit earlier than Michael had first told me. They came bearing gifts... A cleanly washed blanket from home still warm from the dryer, my pillow, and an iPad. Then we got to sneak down to the cafeteria for lunch. Zeke was full of stories and honestly Ki wanted nothing WTO do with me, he just wanted daddy. After lunch Ki had fulfilled his visit time and was done. We returned to my room Ki grabbed his jacket and then waved and said "bye,bye" for the first time. As you can imagine the tears came flowing. For many reasons... My baby Ki is talking and I am not there to witness it first, Zeke is growing up and is really being a big boy and helping Michael, and my husband has put on his Superman cape and it being the best and most supportive daddy and husband - I truly am a blessed woman!
So now for a little update on the reason why I am sitting here for the next twenty five days. Wednesday night I was put on strict bed rest and given some fabulously hideous leg massagers that I have to wear as I am to lay down all day long. Whenever I sit up my blood pressures soar. So here I lay. I am allowed to get up for the bathroom and allowed one wheelchair ride a day. Yes, my chart has that specific written in it... One wheel chair ride a day. Every two days my blood is drawn to check my labs. I am on an in and out fluid watch for kidney failures. Two times a week I have an ultrasound to check baby's growth and blood flow. Yesterday little guy had a few heart rate decelerations but thankfully for my peace of mind my ultrasound was right after those and I got to see him and he was doing fine. He even took a few fetal breaths which earned him an A+ from the doctor yesterday.
Yesterday morning my doctor came to check on me and I tried buttering her up before asking her what are my chances of going home and then returning for delivery. Needless to say she thought I was a comedian. I figured it was worth a try. I even thought maybe just maybe they would allow me a day out for Christmas but that was laughed off too. Oh well can't blame me for trying!